Article
Dear most blessed UK citizens,
Good news, bad news
First of all, I wish to rapturously yet humbly inform you all on the highlights of current events within our most turbulent, forever vibrant UK Pastafarians party, that is giving me the impression it will just keep bristling with life forever. There is some good news, and some bad news. The bad news is we don't seem to have convinced too many people yet of the Blessings of Pasta. And by "not too many" I mean no-one whatsoever. BUT. Here's the good news: We are still going strong with a %100 membership of all those who ever became UK pastafarians, and, yes, pretty proud that so far no-one has desired to leave our party yet within the entire history of said party! Ahum.
Why I chose Pasta!
Because I'm slightly disappointed by the aforementioned little bit of bad news, I got to thinking. I thought long and hard, my children. And I came to the conclusion that maybe our slightly dimished influx of party members is due to the fact that none of you are decently informed yet about the Power of Pasta, Our Lord The Flying Spaghetti Monster, and just how wonderful one's entire life becomes if one just opens his/her heart and mind to Pastafarianism. (Please note how I did not say: "Heart, mind, and wallet" like just about any other religiously inspired party would have said. Have I got your attention yet?) So as promised: My fiercest sermon yet.
The Sermon
Pasta is almost universally delicious. Rum and beer are top notch beverages rivaled by few others in the drinkeable liquids world. And pirates are pretty darn cool. To me, Pastafarianism is about none of those things, however. That's right. I said none of them. Stay with me here: According to some written sources wich I wish to deny nor endorse, Pastafarianism started as a rebelling counter movement against an incident in good ol' US of A, involving the teachings of Christianity in schools in general and the Creationism Theory to be specific. Sorry if there are any sincere Christians left out there who also happen to read this, but I just love that ish. I know about Cristianity as it's mostly practised within the USA from good, reliable first hand sources. I know about the blatant many child abuse scandals. I know about their fowl holier-than-thou attitudes which reek of narcissism and ignorance to anyone with enough braincells not to defacate in their own kitchens. And then I haven't even mentioned yet their love of guns and money, and the fact that the most enthousiastic wanking porn viewers are found in the Bible Belt, as mentioned by cold, hard, undeniable PornHub data.
But don't think Pastafarianism is about hating Christians. It's not. It's a celebration of life in general, and of religious freedom to be more specific. I mentioned the aforementioned stuff to point out that our biggest haters, pretty much universally found amongst USA Christians, have no right of speaking, whatsoever. And if you, dear reader, are anything like me, don't you also love the fact that you can enrage hypocrits merely by carrying out simple yet enjoyable things like eating a plate of pasta? I mean to me, that thought seriously contributes to making eating pasta a more pleasurable experience.
There's even more. I am a member of a Pastafarian Facebook group, this one: https://www.facebook.com/groups/181753425298669/ Anyone willing to visit this group is able to see there is way more to Pastafarianism than mocking Catholics, -there is some but always in good spirit and never gratuitious- and the witty and joyful things these people post there every day bring a smile to my face on a daily basis. If you'll grant me a bit of imagination, I'd almost dare call this group one of the last bastions of sanity left on our planet, that I know of.
What the heck does all of this still has to do with e-sim
Within e-sim, it has been recently pointed out by another UK citizen that many e-sim players base their e-sim political policies and just the entire way in which they play this game, on their real life religious beliefs and/or predujice. We Pastafarians strongly condemn this lack of imagination and boreifying of this game. Join us in the fun, and let's not even think about those anymore, who won't grant us our fun for no decent reason whatsoever!
Alright ... But what can the Pastafarians do for the e-UK?
I'll be honest: No wonders at this point. I mentioned before how my main goal currently is to achieve further economic prosperaty, so that I may contribute to the e-UK successes in a more substantial way. All this is going a little slower than I hoped for, but I remain loyal and optimistic and progress is being made. I recently opened a pretty profitable Q5 weapons plant, for example. I also regularly put iron and weapons on the UK market, and put effort in my UK newspaper articles. If any brighter minds than mine wish to inform me on how I can do more for my e-country: Your suggestions will be welcomed with open arms.
Pastafarian wisdom of the day
"The future is meaningless, but the pasta is now."
Have a most blessed day, dear readers!
Previous article:
The Power Of Pasta (4 years ago)
Next article:
Interview With Petro (UK's most hated man) (4 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.